Labor Day Satire: I could have been University topper! 😉

I honestly feel (😉) I was robbed of an opportunity to be University topper. Did someone say “Were you deprived of good tutoring and lacked guidance from teachers to put in focused effort?” Nah, that would have been too much hard work with no guarantee of success. A much simpler way I could have topped the University exams: Plead the Fifth! Hear me out and you will agree. For every question in the exam I should have answered “I plead the Fifth”. What would have happened if I had done that? When the exam results came out some talented and hardworking fella would have been declared the topper. 😡 That woulda been the right time for me to move in and declare I should have been the topper instead. What would have happened next? The University would have said I never answered any of the questions. To that my response would have been “I pled the Fifth because the exam questions were unfair and designed to prevent me from emerging as topper”. Noticing this in the news some successful lawyer/s with high-powered team would have taken up my case pro bono. 👍 Asking for a stay in declaration of exam results a date in the distant future would have been set to hear my case. I could then ignore repeated summons for me to appear in person for the case hearing claiming I was too busy to appear in court. A ruling would be issued against me. My legal team would then appeal against the ruling saying I never got a fair chance to state my case and take it to a higher court. The same scenario would play out till the case reached the highest court of the land in a few years. I would then appear in court and plead the Fifth to every question asked. Exasperated by all the delay and wary of dragging this case any further both sides would have reached a compromise: Declare me as joint topper! 👏
Would that be justice for the person who studied hard and topped the exam? I plead the Fifth, of course! 😂

P.S. What better day than Labor Day and Teachers’ Day in India to plead my case 😄

Author: Rajaram 'Raj' Gopalan

Hi All, Welcome to my home in cyberspace! You can call me Raj. Feel free to explore, discuss, comment and most importantly have a good time!

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