LOL … Looks like Aaron Rodgers and I share a passion for washing dishes! 😀 Don’t believe it? No worries, The Raj always has the receipts to prove it ( https://therajblog.com/2020/01/11/therapeutic-value-of-dishwashing/ ) 😂. Hey Aaron, there have been quite a few lows this season for Packers team and fans 😢. The season could still end on a high I think. Could swing by Mr Rodgers neighborhood, we could go on a Ayahuasca trip and experience a Packers High! 😉 What say? 🤣
It would be nice if human beings had built-in lane departure sensors. Would be even better if the sensors came equipped with steering assist! Imagine a scenario involving a politician spouting off like an expert scientist and the lane departure sensor gets triggered. He/She gets warned by the sensor to stay in their lane to avoid collision with knowledgeable experts. If he/she keeps talking after the warning steering assist should get activated in the form of mild electric shock, with increasing intensity every 30 seconds the warning is ignored, to make it more fun. 😂 Lane departure warning would work effectively with other folks like entertainers, businessmen, sportsperson and people from many other professions too to prevent them straying from their lane of expertise! The benefits are endless, what say? 😊 Hey, I am a dreamer 😃🙏
Went to a local pharmacy to pick up a prescription. While I waited in the line noticed an elderly gentleman waiting behind me. I asked that gentleman to go ahead of me. He had received a notification for picking up prescription refill yesterday. The pharmacist did not find any prescription ready for pickup. After checking the computer the pharmacist informed him that it had already been picked up yesterday. As I stepped up to the counter I had to ask the obvious question: Was the elderly gentleman picking up a prescription for forgetfulness? The pharmacist smiled and said no but he had quite a few other prescription refills
Simple pleasures of life make for fun. One of my stupid, simple pleasures is popping bubbles in bubblewrap 😊 One night this week as I was cleaning and stuffing waste in trash bag in preparation for trash pickup the following day I noticed bubblewraps lying around. Some packages delivered recently had come wrapped in bubblewrap. My eyes widened and I said to myself “Forget cleaning, it’s time for some entertainment!” 😄 I started popping one bubble at a time. Found it would take too much time by the time I was done with all the bubbles. Then I decided a way to speed up the entertainment would be to use my foot and go about popping bubbles dragging my heel across the bubblewrap in a line, across and so forth! The dulcet tones of the bubbles bursting one after another in quick succession was like sweet music to my ears 👌😅 My wife who was in another room came into the room I was having fun in a little later and asked “What was that sound I heard?”. I responded “I was creating wrap music!” 😂 She cast a quizzical glance at me before she looked at the floor and realized what I was up to. As she turned to go back to a different room I added “I am working on my craft and if I keep at it I may even win a Grammy for the best wrap artist of the year!” 😉 She walked away shaking her head. 🤦♀️ The import of what I was doing hit me then! I am a dot-com bubble bu(r)ster and no ordinary one at that, I am Amazon dot-com bubble bu(r)ster. Ok, I will make it Prime Amazon dot-com bubble bu(r)ster if you insist. 😂 I think my show is ready for prime time and I don’t mean just Prime TV. I imagine lot of requests streaming in for my show. I love what I do, you can say I “act with love”! I am looking around me now and I see some bubblewraps around and some that are pillow shaped big ones. Man, I have a long way to go and hope my neighbors don’t make explosive allegations on hearing the big bubbles pop. I am getting stressed out. 😧 No worries, I just got to take a deep breath and carry on. Bubble popping can be a great stress buster too! 👍 Did you realize Señor Raj saved you the effort of asking “Alexa, what is love?” Providing new form of entertainment with opportunity to de-stress, that’s a public service act for sure. 👏 Wow, is there a better way to start the weekend? I didn’t think so either. 🤣 You are welcome 😊🙏
I honestly feel (😉) I was robbed of an opportunity to be University topper. Did someone say “Were you deprived of good tutoring and lacked guidance from teachers to put in focused effort?” Nah, that would have been too much hard work with no guarantee of success. A much simpler way I could have topped the University exams: Plead the Fifth! Hear me out and you will agree. For every question in the exam I should have answered “I plead the Fifth”. What would have happened if I had done that? When the exam results came out some talented and hardworking fella would have been declared the topper. 😡 That woulda been the right time for me to move in and declare I should have been the topper instead. What would have happened next? The University would have said I never answered any of the questions. To that my response would have been “I pled the Fifth because the exam questions were unfair and designed to prevent me from emerging as topper”. Noticing this in the news some successful lawyer/s with high-powered team would have taken up my case pro bono. 👍 Asking for a stay in declaration of exam results a date in the distant future would have been set to hear my case. I could then ignore repeated summons for me to appear in person for the case hearing claiming I was too busy to appear in court. A ruling would be issued against me. My legal team would then appeal against the ruling saying I never got a fair chance to state my case and take it to a higher court. The same scenario would play out till the case reached the highest court of the land in a few years. I would then appear in court and plead the Fifth to every question asked. Exasperated by all the delay and wary of dragging this case any further both sides would have reached a compromise: Declare me as joint topper! 👏 Would that be justice for the person who studied hard and topped the exam? I plead the Fifth, of course! 😂
P.S. What better day than Labor Day and Teachers’ Day in India to plead my case 😄
It’s a busy weekend at a LA area shopping mall. A security guard near the exit door of the mall notices a man running around as if he is searching frantically for something. The security guard calls out to the man Security Guard: Sir, can I help you? The man approaches the security guard, flashes a badge and announces “I am Lt Columbo, from LAPD” Security Guard (looking at the badge): Ah, the famous Columbo from the LAPD homicide department! What brings you here, Sir? If I may, I must say I have been dying to meet you (and lets out a guffaw pleased with his own joke) 😂 Lt Columbo: You sure do have a sense of humor 😀 I am looking for my wife. We were shopping in the mall and I don’t know where she is gone. Have you seen her? Security Guard: You got to be kidding, Sir! You have mentioned about her so many times on TV but we haven’t ever seen her 😊 To help you I will need more details. Can you provide some? Lt Columbo: Sure, she is very bright woman! And… (absentmindedly Lt Columbo walks away) Security Guard: “And” what, Sir? Lt Columbo: Just one more thing 😉 She loves dogs. She absolutely adores our dog Security Guard: What kind of dog? Is the dog with her here? Lt Columbo: No, the dog is in the car Security Guard: In that case I will need something more. Do you have her picture with you? Lt Columbo: I sure do! Here, hold this cigar for me. (Rummaging through his raincoat/jacket) I have it somewhere here. Hmmm…Can you hold my jacket for me? (hands over the jacket to the security guard and searches in his coat pockets and only finds some old shopping bills, a boiled egg and other pieces of useless paper. Removes his coat and hands it to the security guard). Can you hold my coat too? Security Guard (struggling to hold it all): Sure, Sir! Are you looking in your shirt and trouser pockets? Lt Columbo: Yes, I am. (after a bit) Hmmm…Can you believe it, I can’t find it (absentmindedly playing with his belt buckle) Security Guard: Whoa, whoa, hold on, you could be booked for indecent exposure if you remove your shirt and trousers too in public, Sir! 😟 Lt Columbo: No worries, I will look for her myself and walks in towards the shops Security Guard: Sir, you forgot your coat, jacket, half-smoked cigar, egg and other pieces of paper! Lt Columbo: Oh, sorry about that. (Picks up his stuff). I better hurry, hopefully she is not searching for me now (and runs towards the exit) Security Guard: Sir, that’s the exit. I thought you were looking inside the mall 😄 Lt Columbo: Oh, yeah! Thanks! (and runs inside the mall) Security Guard (shaking his head and mutters) “I wonder how he solves all his cases!” 😂
Earlier this week got an unexpected call from my lawyer, DL, who said he had bad news. This is how the conversation went. DL: I have got bad news for you, Raj! You have to appear before court for a misrepresentation case. Raj: Really? You got to be kidding! I am a tax-paying, law-abiding citizen. Why am I in trouble? DL: Nope, it’s serious and for real. You got to haul your ass to a court in Sicily, Italy! Raj: Whoa, whoa, some respect please! I don’t pay you big bucks to call me names like lazy bum. Even if that’s true those are my features, not bugs 😉 DL: Well, my friend, the case of misrepresentation against you has been brought on you by the famed Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families. Raj: That’s surprising indeed. DL: Surprise it may be but you have to show up in a court in Sicily, Italy, within 48 hours Raj: It’s busy, farming season for me. Can’t it wait? DL: I am sorry but you cannot reject or put off the court summons. Will be treated as contempt of court I am afraid. Raj: Ok, I will take the earliest flight. See you there
Off I flew to Sicily. Had a brief discussion with my lawyer on reaching there to understand the charges against me and to discuss defense strategy. The next morning we headed for the court. As we entered the courtroom I heard strains of familiar, haunting and melodious music, yet it had a spine-chilling effect on me. Felt surreal as if I was entering Godfather territory! Take a listen, you will agree ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWqKPWO5T4o ). It was a rather somber atmosphere in the courtroom. As the very stern looking judge, Rule Legali (RL), entered the room the bailiff announced “All arise!”. The charges were read. In one of the posts on Raj Farm I had referred to cucumber as tomato (by mistake, I must add) to the consternation of Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families. That’s considered a very serious offense in Italy I was informed, especially in the Naples and Sicily areas. I spotted in the courtroom Stan Marzano, Tony Roma and EL Cool C (Everybody Loves Cool Cucumber) with their family consiglieres. The prosecution began its case.
Sicily Prosecutor (SP): Good morning, everyone. I am here representing the Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families. The actions of defendant, Raj, have caused pain and anguish to those families. We will make our case today before the esteemed judge and when we are done there will be no doubt about guilt of the defendant. As witnesses in the court we have Herby Parsley and Flavy Basil. They are sworn to omerta but will make an exception today as there is Sicilian honor at stake. Let’s start with Prosecution Exhibit 1. Your honor, last weekend the defendant, while posting about Raj Farm, referred to cucumber as tomato ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-5…/ ) upsetting the famed families. Raj: LOL, did the cucumber lose its cool? 😂 Judge Rule Legali (RL): Mr Raj, we are here to transact serious business. Cut down on your wisecracks or you will be in trouble for disrupting the court’s proceedings. Raj: Sorry, your Honor. It won’t happen again 🙏 Judge RL: Mr SP, you may proceed with your case! SP: As I mentioned earlier the affected families zealously guard their reputation and any misrepresentation directly affects their business and public perception of them. I think the actions of defendant were deliberate. Defense Lawyer (DL): I object, your Honor! Judge RL: Objection overruled! Mr DL, let’s first hear what Mr SP has to say. SP: Thanks, your Honor! The shape and size of the leaves should have been a dead giveaway to the defendant as to the identity of the plant. Judge RL: That’s true. SP: Now, let’s look at Prosecution Exhibit 2. Later this week the defendant, in another post ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-7-c-is-for/ ), tried to cover up this error. We believe the creeping body of evidence is what forced the defendant to take such action. It was not from remorse for a wrong action. DL: I object, your Honor! We resent that insinuation 😡 Judge RL: Objection sustained. Mr SP, just present the facts of the case. The court will make its ruling. SP: Ok, your Honor! We wish to call Herby Parsley and Flavy Basil as our witnesses. Herby and Flavy confirm that they have seen Raj around the tomato and cucumber plants long enough to be able to recognize them.
Judge RL: I have heard the prosecution’s case. Mr DL, you may proceed with your rebuttal. Do you want to present any evidence? DL: Sure, your Honor! Let’s look at Defense Exhibit 1. As you can see, your Honor, the tomato and cucumber plants are so intertwined it’s a little difficult to differentiate between them. Judge RL: That’s true! DL: Further let’s look at Prosecution Exhibits 1 and 2. Granted in the 1st exhibit the leaves make it clear it’s a cucumber plant but it’s easy to miss that out given that it’s surrounded by tomato plants. Only in the 2nd exhibit it becomes apparent that the plant in focus is cucumber. In any case of this nature it’s important to consider the intent. Why would my client, Raj, sing praises of the cucumber ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-7-c-is-for/ ) if there was malicious intent? It was just a honest mistake, your Honor! We request that the case be dismissed 🙏 Judge RL: We will look at the case made by both the prosecution and defense and then arrive at a judgment. At this time does the defendant wish to say anything? Raj: Yes, your Honor! I apologize for the misrepresentation. As my lawyer mentioned it was just a honest mistake and there was no malicious intent involved. 🙏 Judge RL: Ok, gentlemen, both sides have presented their case. Thanks for presenting your case in a civil manner, the court appreciates that. Rule legally I must and rule legally I will! We will reassemble at the end of summer when I will announce my ruling. Mr Raj, I would suggest you get some tomatoes and cucumbers from Raj Farm at that time. Raj: Yes, your Honor, it shall be my honor to do that! 👍 Will the court rule Guilty or Not Guilty? What will be consequences of a Guilty verdict? Judge RL: Mr Raj, considering the exceptional circumstances of this case the verdict is going to be Tasty or Not Tasty! We take our business seriously but we do have a sense of humor. Raj: Haha, you do have an unique sense of humor! 😊 Judgle RL: The court is dismissed for the day. See you all at the end of summer! Stay safe! 🙏