Category: Nature

Earlier this week got an unexpected call from my lawyer, DL, who said he had bad news. This is how the conversation went.
DL: I have got bad news for you, Raj! You have to appear before court for a misrepresentation case.
Raj: Really? You got to be kidding! I am a tax-paying, law-abiding citizen. Why am I in trouble?
DL: Nope, it’s serious and for real. You got to haul your ass to a court in Sicily, Italy!
Raj: Whoa, whoa, some respect please! I don’t pay you big bucks to call me names like lazy bum. Even if that’s true those are my features, not bugs 😉
DL: Well, my friend, the case of misrepresentation against you has been brought on you by the famed Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families.
Raj: That’s surprising indeed.
DL: Surprise it may be but you have to show up in a court in Sicily, Italy, within 48 hours
Raj: It’s busy, farming season for me. Can’t it wait?
DL: I am sorry but you cannot reject or put off the court summons. Will be treated as contempt of court I am afraid.
Raj: Ok, I will take the earliest flight. See you there

Off I flew to Sicily. Had a brief discussion with my lawyer on reaching there to understand the charges against me and to discuss defense strategy. The next morning we headed for the court. As we entered the courtroom I heard strains of familiar, haunting and melodious music, yet it had a spine-chilling effect on me. Felt surreal as if I was entering Godfather territory! Take a listen, you will agree ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWqKPWO5T4o ).
It was a rather somber atmosphere in the courtroom. As the very stern looking judge, Rule Legali (RL), entered the room the bailiff announced “All arise!”.
The charges were read. In one of the posts on Raj Farm I had referred to cucumber as tomato (by mistake, I must add) to the consternation of Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families. That’s considered a very serious offense in Italy I was informed, especially in the Naples and Sicily areas. I spotted in the courtroom Stan Marzano, Tony Roma and EL Cool C (Everybody Loves Cool Cucumber) with their family consiglieres. The prosecution began its case.

Sicily Prosecutor (SP): Good morning, everyone. I am here representing the Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families. The actions of defendant, Raj, have caused pain and anguish to those families. We will make our case today before the esteemed judge and when we are done there will be no doubt about guilt of the defendant. As witnesses in the court we have Herby Parsley and Flavy Basil. They are sworn to omerta but will make an exception today as there is Sicilian honor at stake. Let’s start with Prosecution Exhibit 1.
Your honor, last weekend the defendant, while posting about Raj Farm, referred to cucumber as tomato ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-5…/ ) upsetting the famed families.
Raj: LOL, did the cucumber lose its cool? 😂
Judge Rule Legali (RL): Mr Raj, we are here to transact serious business. Cut down on your wisecracks or you will be in trouble for disrupting the court’s proceedings.
Raj: Sorry, your Honor. It won’t happen again 🙏
Judge RL: Mr SP, you may proceed with your case!
SP: As I mentioned earlier the affected families zealously guard their reputation and any misrepresentation directly affects their business and public perception of them. I think the actions of defendant were deliberate.
Defense Lawyer (DL): I object, your Honor!
Judge RL: Objection overruled! Mr DL, let’s first hear what Mr SP has to say.
SP: Thanks, your Honor! The shape and size of the leaves should have been a dead giveaway to the defendant as to the identity of the plant.
Judge RL: That’s true.
SP: Now, let’s look at Prosecution Exhibit 2. Later this week the defendant, in another post ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-7-c-is-for/ ), tried to cover up this error. We believe the creeping body of evidence is what forced the defendant to take such action. It was not from remorse for a wrong action.
DL: I object, your Honor! We resent that insinuation 😡
Judge RL: Objection sustained. Mr SP, just present the facts of the case. The court will make its ruling.
SP: Ok, your Honor! We wish to call Herby Parsley and Flavy Basil as our witnesses. Herby and Flavy confirm that they have seen Raj around the tomato and cucumber plants long enough to be able to recognize them.

Judge RL: I have heard the prosecution’s case. Mr DL, you may proceed with your rebuttal. Do you want to present any evidence?
DL: Sure, your Honor! Let’s look at Defense Exhibit 1. As you can see, your Honor, the tomato and cucumber plants are so intertwined it’s a little difficult to differentiate between them.
Judge RL: That’s true!
DL: Further let’s look at Prosecution Exhibits 1 and 2. Granted in the 1st exhibit the leaves make it clear it’s a cucumber plant but it’s easy to miss that out given that it’s surrounded by tomato plants. Only in the 2nd exhibit it becomes apparent that the plant in focus is cucumber. In any case of this nature it’s important to consider the intent. Why would my client, Raj, sing praises of the cucumber ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-7-c-is-for/ ) if there was malicious intent? It was just a honest mistake, your Honor! We request that the case be dismissed 🙏
Judge RL: We will look at the case made by both the prosecution and defense and then arrive at a judgment. At this time does the defendant wish to say anything?
Raj: Yes, your Honor! I apologize for the misrepresentation. As my lawyer mentioned it was just a honest mistake and there was no malicious intent involved. 🙏
Judge RL: Ok, gentlemen, both sides have presented their case. Thanks for presenting your case in a civil manner, the court appreciates that. Rule legally I must and rule legally I will! We will reassemble at the end of summer when I will announce my ruling. Mr Raj, I would suggest you get some tomatoes and cucumbers from Raj Farm at that time.
Raj: Yes, your Honor, it shall be my honor to do that! 👍 Will the court rule Guilty or Not Guilty? What will be consequences of a Guilty verdict?
Judge RL: Mr Raj, considering the exceptional circumstances of this case the verdict is going to be Tasty or Not Tasty! We take our business seriously but we do have a sense of humor.
Raj: Haha, you do have an unique sense of humor! 😊
Judgle RL: The court is dismissed for the day. See you all at the end of summer! Stay safe! 🙏