Cherry tomatoes, Jalapeño pepper, Zucchini, Cucumber! 🥰
Earlier this week got an unexpected call from my lawyer, DL, who said he had bad news. This is how the conversation went.
DL: I have got bad news for you, Raj! You have to appear before court for a misrepresentation case.
Raj: Really? You got to be kidding! I am a tax-paying, law-abiding citizen. Why am I in trouble?
DL: Nope, it’s serious and for real. You got to haul your ass to a court in Sicily, Italy!
Raj: Whoa, whoa, some respect please! I don’t pay you big bucks to call me names like lazy bum. Even if that’s true those are my features, not bugs 😉
DL: Well, my friend, the case of misrepresentation against you has been brought on you by the famed Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families.
Raj: That’s surprising indeed.
DL: Surprise it may be but you have to show up in a court in Sicily, Italy, within 48 hours
Raj: It’s busy, farming season for me. Can’t it wait?
DL: I am sorry but you cannot reject or put off the court summons. Will be treated as contempt of court I am afraid.
Raj: Ok, I will take the earliest flight. See you there
Off I flew to Sicily. Had a brief discussion with my lawyer on reaching there to understand the charges against me and to discuss defense strategy. The next morning we headed for the court. As we entered the courtroom I heard strains of familiar, haunting and melodious music, yet it had a spine-chilling effect on me. Felt surreal as if I was entering Godfather territory! Take a listen, you will agree ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWqKPWO5T4o ).
It was a rather somber atmosphere in the courtroom. As the very stern looking judge, Rule Legali (RL), entered the room the bailiff announced “All arise!”.
The charges were read. In one of the posts on Raj Farm I had referred to cucumber as tomato (by mistake, I must add) to the consternation of Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families. That’s considered a very serious offense in Italy I was informed, especially in the Naples and Sicily areas. I spotted in the courtroom Stan Marzano, Tony Roma and EL Cool C (Everybody Loves Cool Cucumber) with their family consiglieres. The prosecution began its case.
Sicily Prosecutor (SP): Good morning, everyone. I am here representing the Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families. The actions of defendant, Raj, have caused pain and anguish to those families. We will make our case today before the esteemed judge and when we are done there will be no doubt about guilt of the defendant. As witnesses in the court we have Herby Parsley and Flavy Basil. They are sworn to omerta but will make an exception today as there is Sicilian honor at stake. Let’s start with Prosecution Exhibit 1.
Your honor, last weekend the defendant, while posting about Raj Farm, referred to cucumber as tomato ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-5…/ ) upsetting the famed families.
Raj: LOL, did the cucumber lose its cool? 😂
Judge Rule Legali (RL): Mr Raj, we are here to transact serious business. Cut down on your wisecracks or you will be in trouble for disrupting the court’s proceedings.
Raj: Sorry, your Honor. It won’t happen again 🙏
Judge RL: Mr SP, you may proceed with your case!
SP: As I mentioned earlier the affected families zealously guard their reputation and any misrepresentation directly affects their business and public perception of them. I think the actions of defendant were deliberate.
Defense Lawyer (DL): I object, your Honor!
Judge RL: Objection overruled! Mr DL, let’s first hear what Mr SP has to say.
SP: Thanks, your Honor! The shape and size of the leaves should have been a dead giveaway to the defendant as to the identity of the plant.
Judge RL: That’s true.
SP: Now, let’s look at Prosecution Exhibit 2. Later this week the defendant, in another post ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-7-c-is-for/ ), tried to cover up this error. We believe the creeping body of evidence is what forced the defendant to take such action. It was not from remorse for a wrong action.
DL: I object, your Honor! We resent that insinuation 😡
Judge RL: Objection sustained. Mr SP, just present the facts of the case. The court will make its ruling.
SP: Ok, your Honor! We wish to call Herby Parsley and Flavy Basil as our witnesses. Herby and Flavy confirm that they have seen Raj around the tomato and cucumber plants long enough to be able to recognize them.
Judge RL: I have heard the prosecution’s case. Mr DL, you may proceed with your rebuttal. Do you want to present any evidence?
DL: Sure, your Honor! Let’s look at Defense Exhibit 1. As you can see, your Honor, the tomato and cucumber plants are so intertwined it’s a little difficult to differentiate between them.
Judge RL: That’s true!
DL: Further let’s look at Prosecution Exhibits 1 and 2. Granted in the 1st exhibit the leaves make it clear it’s a cucumber plant but it’s easy to miss that out given that it’s surrounded by tomato plants. Only in the 2nd exhibit it becomes apparent that the plant in focus is cucumber. In any case of this nature it’s important to consider the intent. Why would my client, Raj, sing praises of the cucumber ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-7-c-is-for/ ) if there was malicious intent? It was just a honest mistake, your Honor! We request that the case be dismissed 🙏
Judge RL: We will look at the case made by both the prosecution and defense and then arrive at a judgment. At this time does the defendant wish to say anything?
Raj: Yes, your Honor! I apologize for the misrepresentation. As my lawyer mentioned it was just a honest mistake and there was no malicious intent involved. 🙏
Judge RL: Ok, gentlemen, both sides have presented their case. Thanks for presenting your case in a civil manner, the court appreciates that. Rule legally I must and rule legally I will! We will reassemble at the end of summer when I will announce my ruling. Mr Raj, I would suggest you get some tomatoes and cucumbers from Raj Farm at that time.
Raj: Yes, your Honor, it shall be my honor to do that! 👍 Will the court rule Guilty or Not Guilty? What will be consequences of a Guilty verdict?
Judge RL: Mr Raj, considering the exceptional circumstances of this case the verdict is going to be Tasty or Not Tasty! We take our business seriously but we do have a sense of humor.
Raj: Haha, you do have an unique sense of humor! 😊
Judgle RL: The court is dismissed for the day. See you all at the end of summer! Stay safe! 🙏
Cool! 😎 Got you there, didn’t I? 😆 You were expecting a vegetable or fruit, right? 😃 Well, you were not wrong! 👍 C is for Cool and cucumber symbolizes cool! Last year at Raj Farm cucumbers had a blazing start with some growing to more than one foot in length but were tragically cut short when a greedy bunny bit away the main stem itself. 😭 I was wondering why one of the cucumbers was not growing till I saw what had happened. 😡 This year cucumber plant is shielded inside a cage/trellis. Hoping for the best 🙏
It’s a sure sign of summer at Raj Farm. 4-legged hackers have been gaining access to and stealing data (flowers, fruits, veggies, leaves, shoots and anything else that is edible!). 😡It’s a summerlong game the hackers like to call “Stop me if you can” that’s played out past few years at Raj Farm. 😃 Security is of prime importance and so we have put up firewalls for protection of the plants. I know the firewalls/cages/trellis around lettuce, beets, parsley and salsa peppers have wide range of ports open making them less secure but it’s to satisfy application (of hands to pluck produce) needs. 😊 The hackers have drawn first blood with successful breach of lettuce, beets, parsley and salsa pepper containers. The situation will be closely monitored rest of the summer and security updates issued as necessary 😉
Nah, I am not angry or upset with the 4-legged hackers. Wifey says if they win we earn good karma for feeding hungry creatures, I agree with that 👍 The hackers are very resourceful 👏 but I just wish they were smarter though. Let me explain. “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you” goes a saying. And my hand waters the plants! If the hackers don’t show enough restraint they are jeopardizing their own food source 😂
Time for Raj Farm update! It’s been a period of hectic growth and lot of activity at Raj Farm. Let’s cover this week by each plant category
1) Cucumber: 2 set of seeds were planted this season (Top right picture). One set has grown large enough to warrant moving to own container, the other set can for now remain in the container and probably will grow faster without the shadow of bigger cucumber plant looming large
2) Jalapeno Pepper: Growing in same container as the cucumbers. Will have more room to grow when bigger cucumber moves out
3) Habanero Pepper: Growth acceleration seen after moving to own container
4) Roma Tomato: 2 set of seeds planted this season. Top right in separate pot and bottom left co-located in a bigger container with basil. Bottom left Roma tomato outgrowing container, will to be moved out
5) San Marzano Tomato: Bottom left picture. Growing in separate pot, first sign of tomato observed with yellow flowers making appearance. Outgrowing the container. Will be moved out
6) Sweet Bell Pepper: Growing in separate container (bottom left picture). Some buds seen
7) Basil: 2 set of seeds (bottom left picture). Co-located with Roma tomato in bigger container. Growing well, more space need will be met when Roma tomato co-tenant moves out
8) Roses: All growing in their own separate container/pot (bottom left an bottom right). Seeing them flower brings a smile always
9) Strawberry: Growing in separate small pot (bottom right). Newcomer to the farm. Showing signs of early promise
10) Onion: Onion seeds planted this week (top right corner of big container in top right picture). Right now only black patch visible as we allow onions to settle in
11) Watermelon: Waiting in the wings, not planted yet. They will soon be in action!
Next update will feature “The Great American Transplant” 🙂