2022 Raj Farm Update# 8: Creeping body of evidence!

Earlier this week got an unexpected call from my lawyer, DL, who said he had bad news. This is how the conversation went.
DL: I have got bad news for you, Raj! You have to appear before court for a misrepresentation case.
Raj: Really? You got to be kidding! I am a tax-paying, law-abiding citizen. Why am I in trouble?
DL: Nope, it’s serious and for real. You got to haul your ass to a court in Sicily, Italy!
Raj: Whoa, whoa, some respect please! I don’t pay you big bucks to call me names like lazy bum. Even if that’s true those are my features, not bugs 😉
DL: Well, my friend, the case of misrepresentation against you has been brought on you by the famed Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families.
Raj: That’s surprising indeed.
DL: Surprise it may be but you have to show up in a court in Sicily, Italy, within 48 hours
Raj: It’s busy, farming season for me. Can’t it wait?
DL: I am sorry but you cannot reject or put off the court summons. Will be treated as contempt of court I am afraid.
Raj: Ok, I will take the earliest flight. See you there

Off I flew to Sicily. Had a brief discussion with my lawyer on reaching there to understand the charges against me and to discuss defense strategy. The next morning we headed for the court. As we entered the courtroom I heard strains of familiar, haunting and melodious music, yet it had a spine-chilling effect on me. Felt surreal as if I was entering Godfather territory! Take a listen, you will agree ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWqKPWO5T4o ).
It was a rather somber atmosphere in the courtroom. As the very stern looking judge, Rule Legali (RL), entered the room the bailiff announced “All arise!”.
The charges were read. In one of the posts on Raj Farm I had referred to cucumber as tomato (by mistake, I must add) to the consternation of Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families. That’s considered a very serious offense in Italy I was informed, especially in the Naples and Sicily areas. I spotted in the courtroom Stan Marzano, Tony Roma and EL Cool C (Everybody Loves Cool Cucumber) with their family consiglieres. The prosecution began its case.

Sicily Prosecutor (SP): Good morning, everyone. I am here representing the Marzano, Roma and Cucumbera families. The actions of defendant, Raj, have caused pain and anguish to those families. We will make our case today before the esteemed judge and when we are done there will be no doubt about guilt of the defendant. As witnesses in the court we have Herby Parsley and Flavy Basil. They are sworn to omerta but will make an exception today as there is Sicilian honor at stake. Let’s start with Prosecution Exhibit 1.
Your honor, last weekend the defendant, while posting about Raj Farm, referred to cucumber as tomato ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-5…/ ) upsetting the famed families.
Raj: LOL, did the cucumber lose its cool? 😂
Judge Rule Legali (RL): Mr Raj, we are here to transact serious business. Cut down on your wisecracks or you will be in trouble for disrupting the court’s proceedings.
Raj: Sorry, your Honor. It won’t happen again 🙏
Judge RL: Mr SP, you may proceed with your case!
SP: As I mentioned earlier the affected families zealously guard their reputation and any misrepresentation directly affects their business and public perception of them. I think the actions of defendant were deliberate.
Defense Lawyer (DL): I object, your Honor!
Judge RL: Objection overruled! Mr DL, let’s first hear what Mr SP has to say.
SP: Thanks, your Honor! The shape and size of the leaves should have been a dead giveaway to the defendant as to the identity of the plant.
Judge RL: That’s true.
SP: Now, let’s look at Prosecution Exhibit 2. Later this week the defendant, in another post ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-7-c-is-for/ ), tried to cover up this error. We believe the creeping body of evidence is what forced the defendant to take such action. It was not from remorse for a wrong action.
DL: I object, your Honor! We resent that insinuation 😡
Judge RL: Objection sustained. Mr SP, just present the facts of the case. The court will make its ruling.
SP: Ok, your Honor! We wish to call Herby Parsley and Flavy Basil as our witnesses. Herby and Flavy confirm that they have seen Raj around the tomato and cucumber plants long enough to be able to recognize them.

Judge RL: I have heard the prosecution’s case. Mr DL, you may proceed with your rebuttal. Do you want to present any evidence?
DL: Sure, your Honor! Let’s look at Defense Exhibit 1. As you can see, your Honor, the tomato and cucumber plants are so intertwined it’s a little difficult to differentiate between them.
Judge RL: That’s true!
DL: Further let’s look at Prosecution Exhibits 1 and 2. Granted in the 1st exhibit the leaves make it clear it’s a cucumber plant but it’s easy to miss that out given that it’s surrounded by tomato plants. Only in the 2nd exhibit it becomes apparent that the plant in focus is cucumber. In any case of this nature it’s important to consider the intent. Why would my client, Raj, sing praises of the cucumber ( https://therajblog.com/…/2022-raj-farm-update-7-c-is-for/ ) if there was malicious intent? It was just a honest mistake, your Honor! We request that the case be dismissed 🙏
Judge RL: We will look at the case made by both the prosecution and defense and then arrive at a judgment. At this time does the defendant wish to say anything?
Raj: Yes, your Honor! I apologize for the misrepresentation. As my lawyer mentioned it was just a honest mistake and there was no malicious intent involved. 🙏
Judge RL: Ok, gentlemen, both sides have presented their case. Thanks for presenting your case in a civil manner, the court appreciates that. Rule legally I must and rule legally I will! We will reassemble at the end of summer when I will announce my ruling. Mr Raj, I would suggest you get some tomatoes and cucumbers from Raj Farm at that time.
Raj: Yes, your Honor, it shall be my honor to do that! 👍 Will the court rule Guilty or Not Guilty? What will be consequences of a Guilty verdict?
Judge RL: Mr Raj, considering the exceptional circumstances of this case the verdict is going to be Tasty or Not Tasty! We take our business seriously but we do have a sense of humor.
Raj: Haha, you do have an unique sense of humor! 😊
Judgle RL: The court is dismissed for the day. See you all at the end of summer! Stay safe! 🙏

2022 Raj Farm Update# 7: C is for …

Cool! 😎 Got you there, didn’t I? 😆 You were expecting a vegetable or fruit, right? 😃 Well, you were not wrong! 👍 C is for Cool and cucumber symbolizes cool! Last year at Raj Farm cucumbers had a blazing start with some growing to more than one foot in length but were tragically cut short when a greedy bunny bit away the main stem itself. 😭 I was wondering why one of the cucumbers was not growing till I saw what had happened. 😡 This year cucumber plant is shielded inside a cage/trellis. Hoping for the best 🙏

2022 Raj Farm Update# 6: S is for …

Strawberries! Red and delicious when you can get a bite. If you noticed that the strawberries sport a bite, nah, it’s not me. It’s those four-legged friends (rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks) that sink their teeth in first. Those rapacious bastards like to enjoy the fruits of my labor. 😄 I thought that’s the exclusive preserve of corrupt politicians only. 👎 Wait, I hear a voice in the background. What did I hear? “Welcome to the real world, friend!”.
The delicious ironies of life! 🙏

2022 Raj Farm Update# 5: Peeking tomatoes!

Ladies and gentlemen, let me start with a question. By show of hands can you let me know “How many of you know about Peking duck?”. I see quite a few hands go up. Wow, that’s impressive! 👏👍Let me ask another question.
“How many of you know about peeking tomatoes?”. What, not a single hand has gone up. 👎😉 Hmmm…that’s surprising as that’s what I see when I look out my kitchen window. Yeah, the San Marzanos have been standing tall and making quite a statement this year. They aren’t ripe yet but the outlook looks promising. Don’t get bugged by the bunny you see in the picture, it’s not real. I call it the bugless bunny 😊 Tomato, cucumber and zucchini flowers are yellow. Been seeing a lot of that color. Don’t be surprised if you call me and I answer with a “Yellow!” instead of a “Hello!” 😅

2022 Raj Farm Update# 4: Z is for …

Zucchini! First time for zucchini in Raj Farm. Planted seeds and growth has been spectacular. Lot of nice, large yellow flowers in the plant. Leaves appear similar to cucumber plant leaves. Thought zucchini and cucumber were from the same family, zucchini being the flamboyant sister (big hair, big earrings, high heels etc) and cucumber being the shy sister (dressed more conservatively to not attract attention). Turns out they are related but not from the same family. Both are categorized as cucurbits and under that zucchini is in Cucurbita sub-category, cucumber is in Cucumis sub-category. Cousins for sure, at least one more degree of separation than I originally thought. My newfound wisdom comes from Wikipedia ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cucurbitaceae ). Early signs look promising, we will be tracking and reporting progress this year. 👍 One bonus I already see. The flowers have been attracting butterflies. Some white and even some monarchs. Enough of my talk, let’s talk business! Knowledge gained from this post will cost $5 and payments can be made to TheRajFarm 😉 100% of the proceeds from your payments will go to my favorite charity, myself 😂🙏

Paradise Lost!

Playing Scrabble against a Grand Master rated computer opponent, after couple of consecutive wins I tried to make it a hat trick. At one point trailing 264-309 I found the perfect opportunity to take the lead when I hit the jackpot! Or, should I say I found paradise? 😊 With the word “paradise” I hit both the TWs (Triple Word score) at the right top. The result: I got 158 points (12 * 3 * 3 + 50) to zoom to 422 and take a handy 110+ point lead! Generally the computer blocks opportunities to score big by somehow finding words to place in squares with point multipliers. The reason I got an opportunity this time was because the computer struck the dagger first by playing “soulmate” and scoring a 50+ point word in its previous turn! We were both trading haymakers rest of the game. Things appeared to be going swimmingly for me as my score reached 487 with 5 pieces remaining for me to play and I had a 80+ lead till right before computer’s last turn (as it turned out). Astonishingly the computer not only managed to strike a dagger it managed to twist it for good. Using all the 7 pieces it had left it scored 83+ points to take the game 491-487. The win was also aided by the fact computer got credit for all the points in the 5 pieces I still had left to play. Another high scoring thriller turned into a heartbreaker. Such is a game and such is life! 😭 How did I feel afterwards? What I felt must have been akin to what Smokin’ Joe Frazier might have felt after his “Thrilla in Manila” battle with Muhammad Ali! Battered and bruised, fighting a bigger and more fancied opponent, an opponent with a bigger reach (in Scrabble terms more expansive dictionary) as Smokin’ Joe was getting ready to fight the last round his corner threw in the towel as both his eyes were shut with the blows taken earlier in the fight and he had been fighting practically blind the earlier rounds (He did not have vision in one eye in his fighting career, in this fight the other eye was swollen and shut with the blows taken). A practical move that ultimately might not have been needed! If Joe had been allowed to fight the last round he would have won the fight as Ali collapsed with exhaustion as he as he got up from his stool ready to fight the last round. Did not matter. Joe’s corner had already thrown in the towel. 😢
Yes, like Joe, I felt a bit robbed 👎and it felt like “Paradise Lost!”. Would be poetic justice if I could the word “paradise” again in another game and win. That would make it my own version of “Paradise Regained!”. 😃
Sorry, John Milton ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Milton ) , did not mean to appropriate your work in any way and you can rest assured the chance my version of “Paradise Regained!” working out is slim to none! 😊
Life lesson: Results may not always match effort, expectation or seem fair. Doesn’t matter if one is able to get up with determination to fight after being down. 👍🙏

(Un)fun words of the day: Beerier, Sorptive, Vivat!

Let’s take a look at the meaning of words of the day.
beerier: 1. smelling or tasting of beer. 2. given to drinking beer
sorptive: 1. The process of sorbing 2. The state of being sorbed [Back-formation from absorption and adsorption.]
vivat: A cry wishing someone long life and prosperity

I am not going to try to use beerier, sorptive or vivat in a sentence. Those words are not part of my regular vocabulary and will not make for interesting read. A story is more interesting though! Here we go!
What is life without a challenge? Dull and uninteresting, right? That was my thinking when I decided to take on grandmaster rated computer opponent in Scrabble word game. How has the experience been? I have been getting schooled pretty much every game 😃 Good old fashioned country ass whooping would be a fair and more colorful description. 😂 Akin to a chess enthusiast playing a chess grandmaster. Let’s take a look at one of the games (picture attached to the post). It started promisingly when I started with a 50+ score for the word, ralline (which means of, relating to, or resembling the rails), a word I was not aware of but tried in desperate way to start strong and apply pressure. How did the computer respond? With back to back 50+ scores playing the words “wargamer” and “ukuleles”, sending me staggering back. The coup de grace came when the computer played “yatching” for a triple word score with a 50 point bonus thrown in for all using 7 seven letters in a turn. Against lesser rated opponents one or two 50 point bonus scores and final score of over 300 is good enough for a win by a comfortable margin. Playing against the grandmaster it’s just good for a crushing defeat. Some games after scoring over 400 I have found myself losing by over 100 points! Overall it’s been a humbling and learning experience for sure. In one game finding myself trailing by quite a bit spotted an opportunity to play the eff word. No luck, the word used to express a wide range of emotions was not recognized by the game even though it’s a valid word and supposed to be a Scrabble word 👎 WTHeck doesn’t pack the same power as WTF. Sounds unfun, eh? Sorry, mate, we are out of luck there too. 😡 Unfun may be a valid word in urban dictionary, meaning lack of fun, but it’s not a valid scrabble word.

With just a lone win and dozens of losses to show why do I still play against grandmaster rated computer opponent? That’s a valid question as it seems like a lost cause. Few reasons. Playing against stronger opponent is a way to measure one’s level, improve and stay humble. It’s just a game and unlike real life where at times all may appear to be lost when one’s words may get twisted, one’s intentions may be doubted, one’s actions may be questioned. By people who should know better. For no good reason. In real life perception and emotions reign supreme, right or wrong. Life still goes on. 👍 You play hard but fair, you win some, you lose some. There is something to be said about losing with dignity. Nothing is lost if dignity stays intact IMHO. That’s a great life lesson and worth learning 🙏