Miss my spitting image, do ya?

As usual The Raj believes in discussing and reviewing the most pressing issues facing humankind 😉 In the spirit of sharing and helping I start with the question “I miss my spitting image, do ya?” 🙂 No, I am not referring to any Raj doppelganger though it’s amusing to imagine a world full of Raj the Bod lookalikes, wouldn’t you agree? 😀

The important issue involves shopping for fruits and vegetables and plastic bags provided by grocery shop where I go. Man, those plastic bags are so thin and slippery as an eel. In my old avatar during pre-covid-19 times it wasn’t a problem at all. Any non-bagged fruit or vegetable I wanted all I had to do was pull out a plastic bag, one dab of the tongue with my index finger and voila! those thin plastic bags used to open when I rubbed my thumb and index finger on either side of the bag. I was on a roll then 👍 Not so now 😦 Saliva is a strict no-no now due to risk of infection and anyways licking finger in my masked glory not a comfortable thing to do. While I was struggling mightily to get open those pesky little plastic bags every time, I noticed it was a breeze for other shoppers around. One day in desperation I sheepishly asked a lady shopper nearby is there a technique to opening the bags. She suggested tugging the top handles of the plastic bag away. I think the idea is to let some air get into the bag and then open the bag rubbing the outside of the plastic bag with fingers. Appeared to work for her. Not for me though 😆 Either I used to pull those handles too vigorously ripping the damn thing apart or give a few gentle tugs and keep trying in vain to open the bag. Resigned to the prospect of an almighty struggle with the flimsy plastic bags, at least for the near future, I moved to the section where the shop has cilantro, green onion, parsley and other greens. To keep them fresh shops either spray water periodically or have ice around those veggies. Boom, I had found my savior! 👏 One light touch of the ice or the water on a veggie and the thin, smooth, flimsy plastic bag was no longer my archnemesis 🙂

These days when I go grocery shopping I first go to the section where veggies have water or ice around, grab a few plastic bags, touch the water or ice, open all the bags a bit, dump them in the cart and off I am for some Raj shopping glory sans plastic bag opening woes 👌

It doesn’t pay to help ;)

One weekend we were expecting guests for dinner at 7pm. Wife needed some stuff from the grocery shop to cook a feast. ’twas around 4pm when she asked if I could make a run to the shop and get what she needed. I said sure! Off I went to the shop. Lot of time to complete the shopping and return in time before guests arrive, I thought. Went to the fruits section first. Some bananas looked raw, others overripe. Said to myself let me see if there is anything mentioned about when to best consume. No date, just a label on banana skin with Dole or Chiquita or whatever brand it was. Hmmm…I thought this is a little annoying and getting to be a boring experience. To add fun to the task I decided to look at what usage instructions were there for other products. Below is what I found and my inferences.
Cake, Mayo: Best if used by <date> – Hmmm, need to keep that date in mind!
Packaged beets, Salsa: Seller just slapped a date on the package 😀
Blueberries in a box: No date – that’s great, lasts forever! 🙂
Shredded lettuce: Enjoy by <date> – Thought of having some before the date printed and some after just to test if there is difference in enjoyment level 😀
Milk, Fruit dipped in sugar solution: Best by <date> – Felt it was too long to wait till that date!
Boom Chicka Pop snacks: Sell By <date> – After the printed date it’s probably suggested to gift instead of selling 🙂
Aged Gouda Cheese: Sell By <date> – Shouldn’t it get better with age?
Fruit Juice: Best before <date> – Need to sip everyday and see what that best turns out to be, what date it tastes best!
Medicine: Exp date <date> – Only product with expiry date/month clearly mentioned! Really? Per my understanding medicines do not really expire, they don’t turn into cyanide after expiry date 😀 Their potency is said to reduce, that’s it. I suppose medicines have the greatest profit margin and it helps the business to put the fear of God into people 🙂
After all this “research” I glanced at my watch. It was 6:15pm. Omigosh, I had not started my shopping. Hurriedly I got the list of items out and finished shopping in 15 minutes and returned home by 6:45pm. I had a triumphant look on my face for the fun “research” I had managed and reaching in time before the guests arrived. Wifey opened the door. One look at her face and I knew she wasn’t happy.
Wife: Where were you all this time? (she demanded)
Me: I was shopping and have all the items in the list you had asked for (I replied calmly and confidently with the attitude of a person who had gained wisdom 😉 )
Wife: I needed couple more items. Called you, left VM, texted too!
Me: Let me check (checked phone). Oh, looks like I set the phone on mute so that I could finish the shopping quickly 😉 (Did not want to get a scolding by mentioning phone was set in mute to help me do my “research” peacefuly 😀 )
Bottomline: It doesn’t pay to help 😉 😀
P.S. Wife, resourceful person that she is, completed cooking changing the menu by making couple of dishes using other ingredients at home. And I escaped with my secret intact! 🙂